


Falling Stars

by EvanescentGlow



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Fluff, M/M, Mild descriptions of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 06:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvanescentGlow/pseuds/EvanescentGlow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU.</p><p>A quiet night together is interrupted as a well-kept secret makes itself known.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was originally supposed to be a small piece for my KawoShin collection but it quickly got out of hand and became this! I apologize if it's a little rough around the edges because of that, I haven't written a piece this long in quite a while.
> 
> This is an AU where Angels and Evas exist but Shinji is not a pilot. Shinji also lives together with Kaworu.
> 
> Also, I'm mildly considering turning this into an on-going story but I'm a little torn about the idea. Any feedback on this matter would be great!
> 
> Constructive critisism is always welcome!

Shinji breathed a deep sigh as he snuggled closer into Kaworu's side. The two boys were huddled closely. They were sitting outside, watching the stars, under a shared blanket. Shinji looked up at Kaworu. He seemed completely enthralled by the stars above them. It was beautiful in a way Shinji couldn’t quite explain. Kaworu suddenly looked down at Shinji, a kind smile painted on his face.

“Something the matter?” A little cloud appeared when he spoke, making the chill in the air that much more evident. His white hair created a stark contrast to the dark sky behind and above him.

Shinji shook his head quickly, embarrassed that Kaworu had caught him staring. “You…you just seem to really like the stars is all.” He fidgeted a bit, suddenly ever so slightly nervous. 

Kaworu raised a hand and placed it gently on Shinji’s cheek. The brunette’s cheeks turned bright pink as an immediate result. “You wouldn’t happen to be jealous, would you, Shinji dear?” He chuckled softly. Shinji was simply adorable.

“J-Jealous?!” Shinji flushed even deeper. “I-I’m not jealous! Y-You’ve got it all wrong!” Shinji kept looking back and forth, trying to find a way out of the embarrassing situation. He couldn’t even think clearly.

“Shhh, it’s all right Shinji.” Kaworu took the flushed boy’s face in his hands. “There is nothing in this world I could ever like more than you.” Kaworu leaned down and caught the unsuspecting boy’s lips in a gentle kiss.

Shinji melted instantly into the kiss, all thoughts prior completely forgotten. He missed the other’s lips on his own the minute they parted. Shinji looked down, completely filled with a warm, happy feeling. He was almost mortified for being so happy after just one kiss but he pushed it aside. He readjusted himself and nuzzled his face into Kaworu’s neck, breathing in the other’s scent. “That was….” He struggled to get the words out, intimacy still alien to him. “...nice.” 

Kaworu wrapped his arms around Shinji and pulled him closer. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He breathed the words into Shinji’s ear and the boy gave an involuntary shudder.  
Shinji couldn’t bring himself to say anything else and just let himself be enveloped by the white-haired boy’s warmth. He couldn’t say that this sort of thing was an uncommon occurrence for them, but it was just such an enjoyment that he always looked forward to their shared time.

Kaworu gave a slight cough and Shinji felt it keenly, being so close to him. He looked up, alarmed. Was Kaworu sick? “Are you okay?” His voice was laced with concern. “Maybe we should go inside?” 

“No, I’m alri-“ He was cut off by another cough, this one decidedly harsher than the first. Kaworu covered his mouth and tried to control the sudden fit but it wasn’t working.  
Shinji looked on at the situation is concern quickly turning to panic. “I-I’ll go get some water!” Shinji practically jumped out of the nest of blankets. Before he could take a proper step however, a pale hand caught his. He looked down to see Kaworu, still coughing, looking at him.

He shook his head. “I’ll-” another cough. “-be fine. It’s nothing.” He was barely able to get the words out between his harsh coughing.

“But…” Shinji looked towards their apparent that was just within view. He didn’t want to put a name to the fear that was creeping up inside him. This didn’t seem like a normal coughing fit… Shinji felt a guilt creeping up inside him. If they hasn’t come out to watch the stars this might not have happened…

“Stay.” Kaworu tugged on Shinji’s hand. The pale boy gave a strained smile as the brunette reluctantly sat back. “Thank you…” The red-eyed boy focused on trying to control his fit and ever so slowly it started to calm itself down. 

Shinji fidgeted next to Kaworu even after his fit had calmed down. He jumped a little when Kaworu suddenly rested his head on the brunette’s shoulder. “Kaworu?”

Kaworu smiled softly. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired.” The boy gave a content sigh and closed his eyes. His breathing was still a little shaky but it seemed like the worst of the fit had passed.

Shinji found himself a little embarrassed by the contact, his face turning ever so slightly pink. He looked around, trying not to think about the situation too hard. He pulled the blanket up tighter around them. The night was starting to get even chillier and Shinji didn’t want Kaworu’s coughing fit to start up again.

“I think we really should go inside now…” Shinji looked to the boy next to him. He was still feeling worried and he just wanted to get inside where it was warm and where Kaworu wouldn’t be at risk of getting sick.

Kaworu gave a soft grunt. He slowly lifted himself off of Shinji’s shoulder. “Alright. If that’s what you really want.” He stood up but teetered a bit when he stood to full height. Shinji was instantly at his side, trying to balance him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Shinji was afraid to let go of Kaworu for fear he’d fall over. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Kaworu tried to put Shinji’s mind at ease but he sounded like he was lying through his teeth, even to himself. “I think I’m just…tired…” Kaworu was rubbing his chest as if something there was irritating him.

“Then we should get back right away.” Shinji risked letting Kaworu go to gather up their things. “Are you okay to walk?”

Kaworu smiled tiredly at Shinji. “Of course, don’t worry. Let’s go.” 

Shinji led the way as the two slowly made their way down the hill. They were almost at the bottom when Kaworu broke into another coughing fit, this one much worse than the one before. He dropped down to the ground. He looked like he was having a hard time breathing.

“Kaworu!” Shinji dropped what he was holding and dropped down to the ground besides the other boy. He placed a hand on Kaworu’s backside, feeling it heave with each harsh cough. “What can I do?” 

It took Kaworu a few moments to be able to reply to Shinji, there was a bit of panic showing in his reds eyes. “Water…” That was the only word Kaworu was able to get out in between the fit of coughing. 

Shinji was off in a heartbeat, panic fueling his steps. 

* * *

Kaworu continued coughing after Shinji had run off. He looked down at his hand after it had calmed down for a bit and he was shocked to see blood on his hand. A stab of panic tore through him at the sight. Suddenly he knew what was going on, the sharp pain his chest told him as much. He pulled himself off of the ground, doing his best to subdue his coughing. He couldn’t let Shinji see him like this. He couldn’t know.

He knew of a small covered area nearby that could hide him for the time being. He did his best to walk at a brisk pace despite his still harsh coughing. Kaworu mentally berated himself. He couldn’t believe he’d let this happen. He should have been more careful but he’d been so wrapped up in Shinji that it had just completely slipped his mind. 

Kaworu almost stumbled to the ground when a burning sensation started to spread across his back. Kaworu let out a curse. He didn’t have time to make it to his destination. This was happening now. Any sort of cover was going to have to do. 

Kaworu spotted a dumpster surrounded by some untamed bushes. The white-haired boy dragged himself over to it practically falling into the foliage as a sharp pain danced up and down his back. He laid there on the ground for a while, trying to control his breathing but each wave of pain tore screams from his throat and he was barely able to muffle them. He needed to be quieter or someone might hear him. 

His shirt was beginning to become uncomfortably tight around the back and Kaworu all but tore it off. He didn’t even have to look to know that his wings were beginning to come in. He gingerly touched his chest and felt the small sphere that marked him as an angel becoming more prominent. The core was warm and slowly pulsing, mimicking a heartbeat. 

The small reprise was cut short and Kaworu doubled over in pain suddenly falling onto his hands and knees. His back was on fire. A pained yelp escaped him as the first of his three of wings started to emerge from his back. Kaworu panted heavily, fingers digging into the soft dirt. This was the worst part.

“It’s almost over…” Kaworu muttered to himself, trying to hold onto his sanity. 

“Kaworu?”

The angel went deathly still. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Shinji. The pale boy was at a loss at what to do. He couldn’t move or run in this state otherwise Shinji would find him.

“Where are you?!” 

Kaworu’s heart sank as he heard the desperation in the brunette’s voice. But there was nothing he could do in this state. He heard Shinji’s footsteps dangerously close to where he was hiding and he was afraid to even breathe.

Suddenly Kaworu’s metamorphosis started up again. Kaworu quickly covered his mouth to stifle the gasp that escaped through his lips. He had forgotten he was still in mid change when Shinji appeared. The pale angel cursed his fate. Shinji was going to find him. 

The blinding pain of his second set of wings coming in knocked the air out of Kaworu and he couldn’t stifle the pained sound that tore from his lips.

* * *

A thousand and one thoughts were racing through Shinji's mind. Where was Kaworu? What he okay? Had something bad happened to him? What if he was in trouble? Shinji was in full blown panic mode. When he had returned and failed to find Kaworu he’d feared the worst. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been walking around their apartment complex trying to find the white-haired boy. What if he couldn’t find him? Shinji gripped the flashlight he was holding tighter. No he couldn’t think like that, he was going to find Kaworu.

It was in that moment that Shinji heard a pained cry from nearby. Shinji’s heart skipped a beat. He rushed to what look like a dumpster, surrounded by heavy foliage. “Kaworu?” Shinji called out tentatively. A slight ruffling sound brought Shinji’s attention to one of the overgrown bushes in particular.

“Is that you?” Shinji pulled back some of the bush and shined his flashlight on the spot. What he saw caused the brunette to freeze in shock. 

There was no doubt that it was Kaworu before him but something was terribly wrong. Kaworu was covered in blood with wings protruding from his back. Shinji staggered back for a moment completely shocked. “K-Kaworu? W-What’s going on?” The flashlight was pointed dead center onto Kaworu. 

The other boy opened his mouth to say something but before he could another cry of pain escaped him. Kaworu dropped his head, visibly shaking from the pain. Blood was running down his back from where the wings had come in.

Shinji involuntarily moved forward to try and help they boy but was stopped by what he saw. A third set of wings was emerging from Kaworu’s back right under the first two pairs. It was a grotesque and bloody sight made worse by Kaworu’s agonized screams.

Shinji stood frozen unable to think of anything to do for Kaworu. What was going on? What was wrong with Kaworu? He didn’t understand any of it.  
The white-haired boy eventually went quiet and panic began to set in within Shinji again. “Kaworu? Are you alright?” Shinji inched closer.

The other boy was panting harshly and trembling. He looked up a Shinji for a moment, slited eyes cloudy with pain, before suddenly coughing violently, spraying blood everywhere. Unable to hold himself up any longer Kaworu collapsed onto the ground. 

This time Shinji immediately rushed to his side, the branches of the bush digging through his jacket and into his skin harshly. He hesitantly placed a hand on Kaworu’s bare shoulder. His skin was hot to the touch. The brunette dropped down to his knees and gently lifted the boy to cradle him in his arms, mindful not to touch the wings. Shinji sighed in relief as he noticed that Kaworu was still breathing. Something on the other boy’s chest suddenly caught Shinji attention. Shinji felt his stomach drop at the sight of that red orb.

A core? Kaworu had a core? But that was impossible! If he had a core, then that would make him…

“Shinji?”

The brunette looked down and saw familiar red eyes, but the relief that he should have felt did not come to him. He was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. He didn’t know how to feel about any of this. He stared into those red eyes for a moment as he felt his heart breaking. “Kaworu…you’re…an angel?” 

Kaworu immediately looked away, guilt written on his face. His hand came up to cover up the core that branded him as inhuman.

“Yes.” Was the solemn reply.

“But you can’t be an angel!” Shinji’s reaction surprised even himself. “You’re nothing like an angel… nothing at all!” This couldn’t be happening, not Kaworu, anyone but Kaworu. The brunette wasn’t even aware he was crying until he saw a tear land on Kaworu’s cheek. 

* * *

A horrible guilt assaulted Kaworu when he realized Shinji was crying because of him. He had never meant for this to happen. It was all his fault. If he hadn’t been so stupid, none of this would have happened. He shouldn’t have gone so long without expressing his angelic side. A forcible manifestation had been inevitable. 

Kaworu looked up at his beloved brunette. He hated that he had caused him pain. He slowly raised a shaky hand to cup Shinji’s cheek, wiping away the tears he found there with his thumb. The action caused those all too familiar eyes to look at him. Kaworu looked sadly at the brunette.

“I’m sorry, Shinji.” 

Kaworu watched as Shinji’s eyes began to water anew as his words sunk in. 

“K-Kaworu…” The brunette was barely able to choke out the words before tightly clutching Kaworu to himself and burying his face in the other’s neck.

Kaworu did his best to wrap his arms around Shinji despite his exhaustion. He was happy Shinji hadn’t rejected him outright. By all rights he should have. Shinji should have spat in his face and told him that he never wanted to see him again, turned him into Nerv even, but he hadn’t. He had stayed with him instead. He felt tears welling up in his own eyes.  
“Thank you, Shinji.” The words were whispered and breathy.

Shinji pulled away slightly from Kaworu at his words. “What? Why are you thanking me?” He looked utterly confused.

Kaworu hugged Shinji tightly, despite the discomfort it brought. “You stayed.” Kaworu wasn’t sure Shinji would ever understand how much it meant to him that he hadn’t rejected him because of what he was. It was more than he could have ever asked for.

“I wouldn’t….” Shinji seemed to be struggling with his words. “I wouldn’t leave you because of this Kaworu…” He buried his face into the white-haired boy’s neck once again, desperately clinging to him.

Kaworu gripped Shinji’s shirt tightly, still overcome with emotion. The position was awkward and his back was still throbbing in pain but he wouldn’t have moved for the world in that moment. Shinji accepted him and that was all that mattered.

The two stayed like that for an interminable amount of time, clinging to each other lost in their own world.

It was the cold that finally caused the two boys to break apart. Kaworu was beginning to shiver, the heat of his change long since gone. Shinji looked at him with concern. “We should…get you back inside, Kaworu…”

The worry in Shinji’s voice made Kaworu smile slightly. “That sounds like a good idea, but I might need your help to stand up, Shinji.” He hated to be a burden on the brunette, but there was no way Kaworu could walk, let alone make it back to their apartment, by himself.

“O-Of course!” Shinji scrambled to get up and assist Kaworu in standing.

The white-haired boy grunted in pain, as he shifted into a sitting position. The slightest movement and his back was on fire. Not to mention that his wings were more of curse than a blessing at the moment, the slightest twitch caused him pain. Kaworu took Shinji’s warm hand as he let Shinji pull him up. It hurt. Kaworu hissed.

“I’m sorry! D-Did I hurt you?” Shinji looked horrified. 

Kaworu shook his head softly. “Not at all Shinji.” He was glad to see Shinji look relieved at his words. The brunette boy let go of Kaworu and the white-haired boy almost fell over. Kaworu winced in pain as Shinji caught him.

“M-Maybe you should lean on me?” Shinji offered.

“Thank you.” He flashed a weak smile at the boy, still in pain. 

Kaworu leaned against Shinji as the pair slowly made their way back to their apartment together. 

* * *

Shinji was grateful that it was the dead of night as their made their way home. There was no way they could have explained the large, blood-stained wings protruding from Kaworu’s back. Still, the brunette looked around periodically to make sure there really wasn’t anyone. 

The pair made it to their apartment without a hitch and Shinji was glad to be out of the cold. The first stop was to get the both of them cleaned up. They were both covered in blood, Kaworu obviously more. It was difficult cleaning Kaworu’s wings off, but somehow they managed it. Afterwards he led Kaworu to the couch and gingerly helped the other boy sit down. 

Kaworu let out a tired sigh and leaned back into the couch, immediately flinching in pain.

“C-Careful!” Shinji looked at the other boy in concern. He outstretched his arms as if to grab him but stopped hallway, letting his arms fall back instead.

Kaworu smiled sheepishly in response. “I forgot.” He sat up slightly, no longer leaning against the couch choosing to instead lean against the arm of the chair.

Shinji took a moment to get a good look at Kaworu. He honestly looked the same as before, save for the wings and the obvious core. And his eyes. They were slited like a cat’s now. He could still hardly comprehend that Kaworu was an angel. He didn’t look anything like them. All the angels he had seen were huge and grotesque but Kaworu was nothing like that.

But…being an angel didn’t matter to Shinji. Kaworu was Kaworu. That was all that mattered. Still, a dozen questions presented themselves in his mind, but he felt that it might be rude to suddenly start asking…

“Shinji? Is something the matter? You’re just standing there.” 

Shinji looked over to see Kaworu looking at him with a concerned expression. “N-No, not at all. I’m sorry.” Shinji ducked his head and sat down on the couch, next to Kaworu. He stared at his feet for a while until he felt Kaworu’s gaze on him. Sure enough when he looked up his blue eyes met crimson ones.

“It’s okay to ask questions, Shinji.” He smiled gently at the brunette.

Shinji looked down, embarrassed. Was he that easy to read? He fidgeted his hands, unsure of how to go about asking, even with permission. “It’s…a bunch of stupid stuff, really.”  
Shinji jumped when Kaworu reached over and grabbed his hand gently. “I’ll answer any questions you have.” Kaworu’s smile was tired but still warm and reassuring. 

Shinji squeezed Kaworu’s hand, finding reassurance when the other boy mimicked his action. “Why…” He began, trying to find the words as he went along. “Why aren’t you like other angels?” Shinji’s mouth felt dry as soon as the words left his mouth.

Kaworu looked pensive for only a moment before answering, “I chose not to be.”

Shinji was thrown by Kaworu’s simple response. He chose to be different from other angels? The answer was vague and borderline complex in its simplicity and yet Shinji found himself nodding. It made sense, in a way. A silenced passed over them before Shinji spoke up again.

“Why did this…” Shinji hesitated with his words. “Suddenly happen? You looked like you were in so much pain, that can’t be normal, can it?” Shinji cringed at the memory of Kaworu’s pained cries. He never wanted to see him in pain like that ever again. 

Kaworu put a comforting hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “That was my fault. I regularly suppress my angel side in order to appear as a normal human but it’s very taxing to suppress one’s very nature constantly.” Kaworu’s voice was calm and even as he explained. “I have to allow my true nature to the surface occasionally in order to prevent what happened tonight.”

Shinji took a moment to process his words, trying to understand. “So what happened tonight happened because you hadn’t changed in a long time? Why not? If you knew it was bad to stay like you were?” 

Shinji was surprised when Kaworu chuckled softly at his question. “I was far too comfortable living with you that I didn’t want to have to spend any time away from you. It was completely my fault, I can’t resist you.” Kaworu reached up to gently touch the brunette’s cheek.

Shinji blushed fiercely at Kaworu’s words and actions. “Y-You shouldn’t let things like this happen because of me!” Shinji looked down, utterly flustered by the other boy’s response. An image of Kaworu suddenly in pain assaulted Shinji’s mind and his mood sank instantly. “I never want to see you in so much pain, ever again.” Shinji could feel tears welling up in his eyes. “I thought….I thought I was going to lose you, Kaworu!” 

The brunette was surprised when he suddenly felt warmth all around him. He looked up to see himself pressed against Kaworu’s chest. Kaworu’s arms were wrapped around him tightly. Shinji felt another wave of tears assault him. He didn’t know what he would do if Kaworu were ever gone. He didn’t think he could handle it.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Shinji. You don’t have to ever fear me leaving you. I’ll always be here with you.” Shinji felt Kaworu run a hand through his hair. It was a comforting motion. “So please, don’t cry.”

Shinji’s tears slowly but steadily declined and he felt himself beginning to calm down. He was startled when something soft brushed against his cheek. Looking up he saw that Kaworu’s wings had encircled the both of them in a feathery cocoon. “Oh…” Shinji lifted a hand to gently stroke the feathers. “So soft…” 

“Shinji…” 

The brunette looked up at Kaworu with a questioning glance. “Yes?” Kaworu was looking at him with a warm expression. 

Kaworu gently cupped Shinji’s face with both of his hands for a moment before bringing their foreheads together. “I love you.” 

Shinji was overcome by a sense of warmth and affection coming from the other boy. He almost wasn’t sure how to respond, but he did his best to push that side of him aside and let himself bask in the wonderful feelings that Kaworu was giving him. His words were barely above a whisper but he was sure Kaworu heard them. “…I love you too.”


End file.
